The Lord Commissar of Zero
by Twitchel
Summary: Ok so this is an edit and continuation of The Lord Commissar and the Zero it's been lengthened and edited to be more reader friendly. please enjoy Up for adoption same as my other story I'm willing to co author but no longer have an idea to put to type
1. Chapter 1

(Ok this is a update/ remake as the first time I posted this I had to rate it as anyone friendly when it will not be...

I'm also giving a little more meat and editing it so that it's more reader friendly as it was brought to my attention that Blocks of text hurt peoples Eyes and I find that I agree Been experiencing some tunnel vision myself from spending so much time on here.

Well then lets get to it this is to the New updated and longer version of The Lord Commissar and the Zero.)

_**BOOM!**_

The explosion Shook the courtyard where students of the Tristain Magical academy where performing the spring summoning ritual for their familiars all had accomplished the task most exemplary, That is except for one. Louise De Velliere all she could normally accomplish magically were Explosions of the most random sort of Chaos imaginable though to be fair it was of no fault of her own or a fault of anyone else other then a hidden secret those of Tristain. Nay the rest of the world would find out.

As the smoke cleared a most unusual sight could be seen most unusual indeed as both the second year students And Professor Colbert of the Academy and the sight that assaulted them. A tall man in a great black Coat trimmed in blood red with a equally Red sash tied about his midriff a Cap emblazoned with a Skull and crossbones in metal rested upon his head His stance was that not of someone accustomed to peace but one instead to that of war and by the look of the man a Lord Commissar by the name of Benir He was most Displeased his force sword in his right hand in a position that could be brought about quickly and a bolt pistol aimed at whoever was closest which unfortunately happened to be the poor pink haired Louise whom summoned him. His left cybernetic eye glowed angrily as he sized up the pink haired little girl and Spoke in most intimidatingly deep voice.

"WHAT HERRESY IS THIS!" he shouted firing the bolt pistol into the ground next to Louise's left foot the small rocket propelled round burrowed into the ground before exploding seconds later throwing the turf of the courtyard over the girl and the Lord Commissar himself.

The Mage's in training and their Teacher being shocked could have been most accurately surmised as the understatement of a life time. From the unknown shout for they could not understand the commissar and the display of force and hostility though they were powerful magically they were petrified due to their soft and cushy lives.

Colbert speechless for a second looked at the strange man and silently threw his hands up in a sign of surrender nodding to his students to do the same which the near petrified students also complied. Silently Louise herself thought it prudent to do the same if after quietly and much to her shame soiling herself.

Lord Benir Just shook his head still furious he could only hope lord General Castor could handle things without him. But Sadly the Commissar's thoughts were grim very grim on what his comrades were to face without him. But back to the situation at hand. He looked over at the group of children all had their hands up just like their Teacher? _'what in the name of the emperor have I found myself in?' _Benir though silently to himself before sighing and holstering his bolt pistol though he kept his force sword in a ready position.

Louise on the other hand was quivering in fear looking up at her summoned familiar and was frantically looking towards Colbert for any sign of guidance from the balding and bespectacled man. To which she received a nod. Swallowing quite visibly her own pride and fear she slowly stepped in front of the Terrifying man. He hadn't only terrified the Tristanian students by his actions and appearance his entire being radiated fear and almost Absolute control in a spine chilling way.

Looking up at the intimidating commissar Louise brought a hand down and curled her finger towards herself in an inviting motion. Benir thinking that somehow the language barrier could be broken leaned in towards the pink haired girl out of curiosity and interest. Sword tip stuck in the earth by his feet and hands supporting himself on his knees he leaned to eye level for the girl only to be caught of guard by... A kiss?

He paused straightening running what had just occurred through his mind mulling the images and sounds through his head. First she'd gotten his attention then she mumbled something then she kissed him. Lifting his hands in between a shrug and a gesture obviously indicating the poor pink haired girl. "What the frak?"

Louise glad she got it over with and glad that the man was showing confusion instead of hostility now watched as a glowing light could be seen emanating from his left hand the top of it anyways. The man in question feeling heat radiate from said appendage looked down then at the girl then back down at his hand again. Feeling the pain he grunted for a moment but bit back the aggression that was slowly creeping into his mind from his arm.

Once the pain stopped and the itching sensation as well Louise watched as the Commissar removed his glove and looked at the back of a severely scarred hand shuddering at the thought of what he'd gone through before becoming her familiar. Then the jeers started.

Kirche was the first the well endowed and tan redhead coming to the fore of the students and right next to Louise before whispering to the pinkette "Good going Zero not only do you fail at magic but as summoning as well whatever happened to your beautiful familiar that looks like it hit every branch as it fell out of the ugly tree." Se said give a mean spirited laugh as she finished.

At this moment two things happened Louise turned the color of a tomato from her rising anger and lifted her wand towards the Insulting Germanian shaking in rage from the insults she always received and two, Benir silently was behind the Redhead with his bolt pistol calmly and casually against the back of her head. "What was that GIRL!" he asked barking out the last part

Hearing him speak in their language ultimately terrified everyone who witnessed it especially Kirche. Not only from his actions and holding a weapon to the back of a students head but from the sheer malice and hatred radiating from the cold and grizzled voice. Another student shouting at Louise. "Keep that commoner familiar on a leash Zero" which also served to further infuriate the pinkette who only just now fedlt the chill from her familiars voice.

Snapping she swatted her familiars unusually heavy hand and weapon away from Kirche and shouted. "How dare you commoner threaten a noble with a weapon!" she shouted causing an explosion from her wand right in Benir's face.

Recovering quickly the Lord commissar. Just shook with rage holstered his pistol and walked right to the little girl backhanding her into the ground. "Hold your tongue child I am Lord Commissar Benir!"

He shouted in a guttural way. At hearing his outburst everyone was shocked most of all Louise. Continuing Benir looked at all in attendance. "I have killed for less then that insult you SWINE GENERALS FEAR ME AND MEN OBEY ME!" his ire was past the boiling point and he was no nonsense.

Shocked at the revelation and the quite obvious threat at hand Professor Colbert was immediately in front of the Commissar "Sir I realize your just as shocked as us to find you here, but please forgive us we had no idea." he said to which he earned a similarly heavy backhand across his face knocking the balding man to his knee's "Your excuses and cowardice do not interest me!" Benir exclaimed before lifting the man up by his shirt and locking that horrible red eye on the man. 

"Take me to whoever is in charge of this Herresy or die!"

(And on that note I'll leave you with a cliff hanger. Please tell me if there is anything I should change or work out next chapter and as always R&R)


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter two**_

_**A commissar with free time? **_

"_**Children you call them? They can pull a trigger just as well as veterans, and they have the spirit of a bull narthax. Call them children if you wish - I call them troops.**__" _

_Colonel __**Marus Cullen**__ on Whiteshields. _

It had been days since the summoning which quickly found Commissar Markus Benir placed in not only a fantasy world of peace which many of the guardsmen under his charge over the years had dreamed about. Though knowing the entire planet had not heard of his Majesty the Carion Lord of humanity the God emperor, Markus contented himself with considering the native religion of this 'founder' character to be cut from the same cloth.

That aside he really found nothing to be disconcerting. Other then whispered rumors of war and thieves

Well he'd be lying if he didn't find 'magic' and mage's causes to quirk a brow or a disapproving look from him every now and again but he found a lack of taint in the 'schola?' if it could be called that he found himself currently residing in alongside his newest charge who had more fire in her belly then a flamer and a temper that would make a Khornish beserker green with envy. All in all he found himself quite comfortable after the meeting with the headmaster with quite an impressive amount of facial hair. if one asked the commissar.

_Flashback_

"Ah miss Vallier and who might you be sir?" asked an oddly kind voice which had a hint of mischief to it. To say they all where disquieted from Benir's reaction would have been the understatement of the millennium. He stood at attention crisply clacking his boot heels together against the hard stone floor of an architectural design that predated the emperors rise to lead humanity. If the data files he'd read when he was a schola student were anything to go by.

Touching the brim of his peaked cap with the terrifying skull emblem in the center Markus's ragged and strong voice soon filled the room filled with authority an authority that from the native's they'd never experienced before an authority that spoke of a lifetime filled with war which wasn't quite off the mark in Benir's opinion. "Lord Commissar Markus Benir veteran of one hundred years of war." He said _'good now I've got them' _he thought to himself.

It was quite frequent in the Imperium of man for people to be bicentennial if not older where as here if looks were to go by anything the people lived generally young and short lived lives. To which he frowned to himself though hiding the look on his face. Which was testament enough to his words in fact more then a couple things were testament to that but they wouldn't know unless he let them in on the secret which of course he wasn't going to.

His audience gasped at the thought looking at the man before opening and closing their mouths having lost the use of their voices. But alas the silence was not to be kept forever for the pinkhaired little girl that stood beside him turned at him and then the headmaster before turning the most interesting and disquieting shade of red he thought near on impossible from humans.

"I sincerely apologize for this commoner dogs blatant lies!" she quickly said looking at the old man with a look of the purist rage he'd ever seen except from an Astartes. Markus looked at Louis for a moment quickly silencing her with the glare of his eye. "As most likely as I believe you and your lot to be taking the frak with me on this magic business." He growled in the most savage human voice the Tristanians had ever heard feeling chills and fear creep into the very confines of their souls.

Louis continued to try and make useless protests to the blatant disregard for her questionable authority. Headmaster Osmond on the other hand thankfully saved the Commissar's patience and potential his students life. When he cleared his throat and immediately quieted the over-excitable girl down. "Now Commissar if I heard right I find it hard to question you with such conviction in your tone and the seriousness of your demeanor. But I have never heard anyone living as long as you and only looking as if they were a Noble in their prime with as much war as you've seen or even heard of wars that lasted that long.

Which brought Markus into a quickly telling of the imperium of man. Along with the enemies they faced the Betrayal they'd felt and the continuing struggle of man kind in the vastness of space. Soliciting the proper responses of fear and almost disbelief they felt from his story. He'd also recounted some of his own campaigns of duties in his career Battles with Brutish orks massacres of heretics and narrowly escaping a Tyranid infestation.

When his tale was done he was only met with a shocked silence from all in attendance even the fiery Pink haired girl who summoned him was unusually silent from he whines and outbursts. The three adults were similarly silenced when they considered the vastness of the universe coupled with the fact that the man in front of them had lived and fought countless times in over one hundred years and over many different planets. None questioned the sincerity of his voice it in spoke for itself quite literally.

His voice while strong was filled with exhaustion and weariness and held a baffling sense of great age. When Markus finished speaking he let out a long sigh and a muttered 'frak' when he looked at them all as they stood silently shocked and quickly decided to reassure them. "Now don't you lot worry I'm not as how should I put it zealous as others of I had both the pleasure and displeasure of meeting. Which when they heard those softly spoken words let out a collective sigh.

_End flashback_

It had now been a couple days since then and though they were a bit rough when Louis had the audacity to think of him only as the familiar servant the so called 'mages' prided themselves of and tried to order him to undress her and then dress her in her night garb he quickly disspelled any thought of the sort from the young girl with an angry glare and promptly left finding a spot within the walls of the schola to dig in and make himself a home.

His hole as he now called it was basically a small trench he'd dug over the past few days underneath a tree and deep enough to easily hold a room now many would be asking how he had the tools and know how to do this suffice to say he talked with Kriegen counter part and afterwords was always found to have a shovel on his person.

When conferring one night with the headmaster about his accommodations he'd made himself Benir requested only three things a simple cot to sleep on a desk and chair. Much to the Ire of his 'supposed' master whom he more or less out of boredom and a desire to learn more about this planet which he found himself upon followed more often then not having led to some more interesting situations

Such as putting a young Juvie upstart in his place with a demonstration of his ability with a chainsword much to the awed silence of the crowd as the Screaming blade did it's work on the golems he fought through until reaching the young man and giving him a scowling before tramping off. After that incident he was looked upon with fear and awe.

Mainly from his unheard of weapon coupled with the speed and ease with which he won. Quickly gaining both the respect and admiration of the common men and women in the employ of the so 'nobles' he scoffed at the notion but felt no animosity towards them as long as they left him alone other then the young and somewhat interesting Louis.

_Day of the familiar exposition. (Princess Henrietta)_

The single princess of Tristain the hope and pride of the people of the small nation could on partially contain the excitement that coursed through her body once the carriage stopped. With a thorough fanfare. She was excited in seeing the future nobles of the lands familiars but most of all she was excited to see what her dear friend Louis's familiar was and certainly hoped for the best for her dear friend quite aware of her problems with magic.

When she stepped out of the carriage and began walking down the red carpet all of the subjects of the realm bowed except for one man in odd dress. Black long coat trimmed in dazzling scarlet and a peaked cap the likes of which she'd never seen before was the only man that stood in the crowed he stood stock still it was debatable whether or not he was even breathing as she passed as she did he clicked his boot heels together and snapped his right hand in a salute. She found herself concerned about the man not familiar with the gesture but smiled his way having an odd sense that he would be important in the future.

_Day of the familiar exposition (Louis/Markus) _

It wasn't often that Benir found himself impressed very few sights did that and this this was among them. The entire Schola had been brought out flanking a red carpet on either side He stood next to his charge the young pink haired Louis who muttered something along the lines of don't screw up which amused the Commissar. Then the fanfare began and the door to the white carriage pulled by odd horned horses opened revealing a young woman with purple hair.

From where Markus stood he quickly noted two things one this young women was important to the people around after all she was a princess he shrugged mentally. Two the woman was by all looks and appearances was along the same age as his charge but looked as if she were more developed.

Everyone around him knelt down and bowed their heads. As a sign of respect to the young royal. Benir snarled for a moment then stood at attention. He was a Loyal soldier to the imperium after all if lacking the zealotry and fanaticism most of his contemporaries and subordinates possessed but He most certainly would not under any condition kneel before none other then the god emperor himself.

Louis noticing this was about to drag her insolent familiar to his knee's noticed what he was doing and immediately calmed the only one he acted this way around was old Osmond and she took it as a sign of respect immediately quieting not wanting to embarrass herself in front of the princess. But mentally cursed her luck for having such an odd and mostly disobedient familiar having the distinct feeling that if she even tried to discipline or beat him her life would be forfeit.

Benir's thoughts were only on how he felt a strong resolve within the young princess who moved passed him and felt oddly calmed by the smile she sent his way after he'd saluted her. _'Well she seems to be several times better then most planetary governor's I've had the displeasure of meeting.'_ He thought in a pleased way to himself. And smiled at his thought for the display.

_Hours later and the time for Louis and Benir's performance._

They stood in front of the steps of the stage he felt a slight tingle in his palms when he watched the other familiar's as the locals called the odd creatures that were almost always present with the young Juvies. His act was simply enough he had a couple of pigs suspended by long rope in a line in the middle of the stage with one tied to a pole at the far end opposite himself to a pole to demonstrate his bolt pistol. And one to the right of him the same way for his entrenching shovel.

Drawing both weapons once Louis's name was called Benir walked authoritatively on stage activating the chain sword which promptly released a low whine which sent shiver rippling through the crowd and dignitaries. Narrowing his one real eye he thumbed the control for the sword causing it's sound to increase into that of a high pitched wail as he charged with a feral grin on his face towards the suspended pigs.

His left arm swung the blade with the ease and skill of long time used of the weapon cleaving savagely and sickeningly through the suspended pigs showering his coat and trousers in along with the stage in flecks of meat shrapnel and blood. Coming upon the target at the end of the stage he quickly deactivated the chainsword and sheathed it whilst drawing the bolt pistol and with a _**choom **_sound from the discharge of the weapon showed the projectile quickly meeting the target in it's side before detonating and pulverizing the rest in a spectacular explosion of gore and pig bits.

Quickly holstering his side arm and drawing the entrenching shovel always on him he quickly spun on the last pig and threw the shovel which imbedded itself into the side of the pig after flipping end over end four times in a speed barely human with a sickening thump. It was left inside the pig for long before the Commissar was there to retrieve the tool and them slash the pig with it in a show of savage ferocity.

To everyone in attendance was shocked would have been an understatement. In fact the display quite thoroughly terrified them. But as the unspoken rule of the commissariat stated "W_hen there's something scary in the front put something thoroughly horrifying in the back."_

**(And this boys and girls is where I leave off you will notice I have made some changes in our Commissar's inventory. To be honest I had some thought well quite a lot of thought actually and found a power sword a little hard to believe in the hands of a commissar so I went with the standard and most beloved chainsword. After all the imperium just isn't the imperium without one. You may be asking why I have the commissar so accepting of his situation instead of being a raging pyschopath carving a path through the world of familiar of Zero well simple enough. Not everyone in the imperium is a fanatic though most are I will admit. Two the same with zealotry as has been mentioned twice in this chapter. While staunch in his beliefs he is not particularly zealous. And last but most important three He's smart to put it simply. He's on a strange planet that isn't part of the imperium and it's debatable whether or not it's part of the same universe, and values his life after I would like to believe that even the most zealous fanatic of the guard would see that the odds would be stacked against them surrounded by potential hostiles with powers that you couldn't explain or begin to fathom. I would sincerely hope that the humans of the 41st millennium would see the benefit to not immediately going "ClEANSE PURGE KILL!" ) **


End file.
